Blog

End of term list

16 December 2017 by Lisa Meloncon

Sometimes you have too many things to say that they all get jumbled up in your head. When this happens to me, I have to completely step away from it all and just let my mind work it out. That’s what has happened recently when I was trying to decide on a blog topic for the end of the term. (And hey, you wanna write something. Just email.)

I have a whole lot of thoughts about things that have been circulating about higher education and the world and women and well, you get the idea. But there are so many thoughts, I can’t find an angle to focus on. To try get me moving in the right direction, I did what I normally do, and that is, think in terms of a bulleted list that will fit on a sticky note.

I asked myself, “what would I put on a self-care list to remind me that things will be ok?” What phrases or advice would I give myself or others at times of high (work) stress, like the end of the term.

Here’s what I came up with:

And when I had written this list, I realized that each of these has been the topic of an existing blog. Maybe one or two will resonate with you and help ease you through.

These are good reminders as we move into the “break,” which is a time that can still remain stressful with holiday commitments or over planning our schedules (and then feeling disappointed when we don’t accomplish things).

Let me encourage you to be kind to yourself. Do fun things and focus on just being you.

Wishing you a peaceful and joyful end of the term.

 

 

Tools for Change

29 November 2017

 

Tools for change.

I have been struggling to focus since the summer. And as I have been working hard to reboot my life, I saw an image (at the left) that resonated with me. I saw this early in November, which is the time of the year where #acwrimo** happens.

Between the accountability of academic writing month and this image, I took the time to reflect on how to re-shape my work life. In many ways, November and academic writing month has been a success for me.

Please know when I say success that I recognize that success looks and feels and is different for each of us, and also know that I am not advocating for the overproduction that plagues higher education. But what I am saying is that we do need to think carefully and strategically about how our work lives and reflect on ways to make that happen.

So over the course of November, I’ve been more deliberate in my work schedule, and I have taken to heart these tools for change. Here is how they played out for me.

 

Practice

I had gotten out of the practice of writing (and the related tasks that fit with writing and count as “writing”). So without doubt, everyday I did something that was attached to a project. From reading, to editing, to drafting words, to coding data, to gathering data, to analysis…..you get the idea. I worked hard at re-learning—at practicing—the art of writing and research. And I hope this practice stays with me into the spring as I head back to the classroom!

Mistakes

This month (as well as the ones before and no doubt after) I made a ton of mistakes. All sorts of mistakes. From forgetting things, from not responding as soon as I should, from drawing incorrect conclusions, from collating data incorrectly and having to re-do thousands of entries, from “that’s a great section” to understanding it had to be deleted….you get the idea. Having the courage to admit that mistakes are part of our lives (and often our daily lives) is a free moment. It opens up space to laugh at yourself, admit it, and then find ways to move forward. My mistakes this past month have helped me realize it’s all going to be ok.

Love

I was reminded of the joys of life through this month as friends and colleagues near and far took time to read or comment or just talk to me to work through a problem. There is a love in this sort of giving and receiving, and often, we forget to acknowledge how important this sort of help and support is not only to the work but to ourselves and well-being. Feeling the love and support of others—which in part can’t be accomplished unless you ask for help—offsets the day to day grind.

Adversity

Life is filled with adversities. And it’s no secret that this job can be challenging. As I approached trying to re-learn how to do this job, there were new challenges and difficulties that I had not face before. I learned new strategies for focusing; new strategies for revising; new strategies for reading. You name it and I worked toward a new practice or an improved old practice to get anything accomplished. The constant feeling of walking uphill (not quite like Atlas but close) reminded me that adversity brings with it its own rewards. Just the simple fact that I kept trying and found some success made it all worthwhile.

Vulnerability

Writing and research and teaching are all vulnerable moments (whether we acknowledge it out loud or not) because they open us up for being judged. For most of this month, I have walked around feeling like I was partially flayed open and it was disconcerting and at times, disheartening. But part of the success of this month was found in the fact I pushed on through. I reminded myself that I as definitely not alone in the feeling of vulnerability. (see above about love and friendship.)

Patience

My entire life I have wished I was more like my mother. The reasons for that are legion, but one that I often refer to is the fact my mother is a model of patience. Working this past month has been a testament in patience. I have had to consciously be patient with myself and refuse the impulse to be too hard on myself when things didn’t go right or it was taking too long to do things.

But patience circles us back to practice. We have to be patient and kind to ourselves as we practice new things because we will make mistakes and face adversity and feel vulnerable, but hopefully, through it all we can find and share the love with one another.

As we all finish up this term and start to contemplate what we’ll do over the “break,” I encourage you to think through what your tools for change may be. The opening image spoke to me and helped me reflect on this month where I was consciously and deliberately trying to invoke a change in my own work life. It is important to our own professional development to give ourselves the space to reflect on our own practices. What would be your tools for change?

Wishing you health, joy, and peace in your own reflection processes.

** acwrimo = academic writing month which occurs in November. It’s the academic equivalent to the creative writing month to write your novel. Its aims are to provide a source of accountability and focus to get writing projects moving forward.

 

Setting Boundaries

5 November 2017 by Lisa Meloncon

Setting boundaries has a lot to do with making decisions about your life (which I take to mean here both your career and your not career parts) and what you want to prioritize. While I written before about ways to say no and yes, here I want to focus more on some of the bigger—abstract even—concepts that go into making decisions about boundaries and priorities.

In published scholarship across fields, there seems to be a love/hate relationship with the word boundary. Fields and disciplines want to have them because it makes the work a little more manageable, but at the same time, boundaries impose limits and restrictions (which most academics want to constantly push back against). This same push/pull exists when trying to create boundaries for our lives.

I have talked a lot about being strategic in your career. Strategic is probably the word that I use most in trying to help faculty and grad students understand that there should be some deliberate thought and consideration put into each decision that you make. In being strategic, you stand a better chance of then instilling boundaries that are healthy.

Here are some big boundary setting concepts.

Set aside time for you

You need to set aside time for your own self care and your life outside of work.

Schedules shift in higher education based on the ebbs and flows of the academic term and the ebbs and flows of where your projects are (no matter if they are research, service or teaching). Because of this, it is always a good practice to set up a an ideal term schedule but then to be flexible enough to shift that from week to week.

One of the first things is to map out on the calendar are the times that you will not be working: exercise time, social events, events for children, time with your family, etc. To push back against the cult of overproduction, one of the first things I do every week is to mark through all of Sunday and most of Saturday. It’s a material reminder that the weekend is (or should be the majority of times) for rest, relaxation, and fun.

Recognize that you can’t do everything (nor should you)

It’s really easy to get off track and overwhelmed because there are so many cool and interesting things that you may want to do. One must remember that you truly cannot do everything that you want to do because there’s not enough time and there are other things you have to do that take up even more of that time. In other words, you have to learn to pick and choose what you’re actually going to devote your time to. Outside of the pointers in deciding how to say yes and no, you also need to consider what is best for you at this particular time of your life.

One area where lots of folks get bogged down is thinking that they have to contribute to every call for a special issue or collection or go to every conference. All of these are completely untrue. Submit when it’s something that fits with your research agenda. Attend conferences that are recognized in the field and the ones that resonate with you in particular ways. Every one ends up having a favorite conference for all sorts of reasons, and often, these are smaller events. So pick one of those to attend and then pick one of the bigger, nationally recognized conferences. You truly can get tenure and promotion and be successful without trying to attend everything and do everything.

Remain a professional at all times

Boundaries are often difficulty not because we don’t want to set them, but because of the outside influences that push on them—in both real and perceived ways. We have all had those moments of where we feel we need to do something even though we don’t want to and/or even though we feel we shouldn’t be the one being asked.

You can so no. The key to this is simply remaining professional at all times and simply saying no. For women, we are often tempted to give a long drawn out explanation as to why we’re saying no. That is not necessary. You can say no in a professional manner and end by suggesting someone else for the task or thanking the person for thinking of you. That’s it. If it’s something that you feel particularly sad/bad about saying no to, then it may be a good time to add extra context.

Remaining professional at all times is a reminder that we do have control over setting boundaries for what we do and when we do it (for the most part).

However, there is a line between protecting yourself and your time and simply being a selfish ass. Understanding this difference isn’t hard and is a key to boundary setting.

Believe in your work and believe in yourself

One of my first dial-a-mentors was Paul Heilker (Viriginia Tech). We were introduced through a mutual friend, and he was instrumental in helping me the first couple of years on the job. (Hey, Paul!! Thank you!!)) One of the most powerful things he ever said was, “Believe in your and believe in yourself.” I have repeated this phrase hundreds of times because it is so true. Now, I get that it can be much easier than done, but I encourage you to move toward this idea. It removes so much of the stress and the feelings of imposter syndrome and so many other things when you start to believe it.

And connected to the theme of this post, it helps you to remember what is important to you; thus, it helps you set reasonable and respectful boundaries.

Once you have some idea about what your boundaries are then you need to say them out loud. First, say them out loud to yourself. Then you need to say them out loud to your family and your colleagues. They’ll have no idea you have them and more importantly, what they are unless you tell people. Regularly. (Cause they can shift from term to term and year to year.) Verbalizing them often opens a dialogue about larger issues related to goals and strategic plans on how to accomplish them.

This is the time of the year when the stress mounts and because of that, we start to think of (dream about) starting fresh in the spring term. So as you’re putting off grading or procrastinating on writing or just sitting around watching TV, be thinking about these big concepts as they relate to your career goals and your institutional requirements. Good luck with the process. It’s one of the more difficult ones we face in higher education, and remember that there are lots of folks out here who can help you talk it through. You are never alone.

Wishing you health, joy, and peace.

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