originally posted 16 July 2015 by Lisa Meloncon<\/p>\n

#WomeninTC will proudly be accepting the Diana award<\/a> from SIGDOC <\/a>tomorrow and giving a keynote in the morning. If you\u2019re there, be certain to attend and if you\u2019re not, be on the lookout for the proceedings paper.<\/a><\/p>\n

But, that\u2019s not really why I\u2019m writing today. I\u2019m writing to talk about making hard decisions. Did I plan on being with my friends, colleagues, and fellow members of the steering committee tomorrow? Yes. But, I\u2019m writing this from home in Northern Kentucky USA after making the hard decision that it wasn\u2019t in my best interest at this moment in time to make the trip. Why was it a hard decision? Because not only was I supposed to part of the presentation tomorrow morning, I am also President of CPTSC<\/a>\u00a0 and I missed helped facilitating the round table we hosted between SIGDOC and ProComm (the annual conference for IEEE PCS).<\/p>\n

So I had responsibilities. But, I just couldn\u2019t do it. Everyone will face this decision at some point in their career, most likely more than one point in their career. It\u2019s life and life changes, and as you know, conferences are planned months and years in advance. (Organizers understand this. So be professional and courteous when you back out. A long detailed rationale as to why is not necessary.)<\/p>\n

But, right at this minute, reading tweets from the conference, I feel a little but like a failure for shirking those responsibilities. Well, that\u2019s what the irrational part of my brain is saying. The other part of my brain has to acknowledge that\u2014for all sorts of reasons\u2014there was just no way this conference trip could happen. Thus, a decision had to be made. It was hard. I will continue to have doubts about it. I will likely try to find ways to \u201cmake up\u201d for missing it in other ways. All of these things are human nature. It was, however, the right decision for me.<\/p>\n

In making hard decisions, we acknowledge that there is a hierarchy in our life and in that hierarchy, you simply can\u2019t do everything and be everywhere\u2014even if you had committed to going. That hierarchy I would argue means putting you first. The \u201cyou\u201d I refer to here is the material, embodied person with feelings and frailties and other aspects to your life.<\/p>\n

I know that graduate students and young faculty members (and heck, even some of us oldsters, too! ) you feel that you have to go to everything. I am here to say that you don\u2019t. You can be selective and strategic about choosing the conferences or workshops or symposia that you attend. Those decisions should be made based on who you feel your community is (who does your research speak to) and what type of conferences, etc., are recognized and valued by your institution (for tenure, promotion, and merit decisions) and those two factors need to be balanced against what else is going on in your life at the moment and your own mental and physical health.<\/p>\n

We don\u2019t talk enough about taking care of ourselves and finding the seemingly elusive work\/life balance. That\u2019s one of the things that #womeninTC is all about: Talking out loud about how to do our jobs, enjoy those jobs, and still have and enjoy a life outside of jobs; Talking out loud about our mental, emotional, and physical health and how our jobs affect\/effect those things; talking about the struggles and successes and the hard decisions that often have to be made.<\/p>\n

Know that when the moment comes to make the hard decision, you\u2019re certainly not the first and you\u2019re definitely not alone.<\/p>\n

So for those of you in Ireland, be certain to have a pint for me!<\/p>\n

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